They should really pass out barf bags in church
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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