I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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