I want to stick my p in your. b.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
