So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
