Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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