ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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