Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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