he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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