mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
