I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
