So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Come share oat with me in your robe
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize