Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There r osticjed everywhere
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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