I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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