Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
