How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
