I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
