im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Less talking, more tequila
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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