Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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