while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
