return my video game
i barfeds in our rink
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Randomize
