Who wears a wallet chain?!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
