I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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