Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
