last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
