why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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