I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
