That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
