yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
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Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
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Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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