what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
