I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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