Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
