I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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