I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
