can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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