When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
