Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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