Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize