But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
