dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
