I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
it's not cheating when I paid for it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize