Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Never joke about your clitoris.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
