the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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