i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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