He is an equal opportunity slut.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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