I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
