she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
