they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
