found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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