I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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