Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
