Just fell off a train. Bad.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
