My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Let's paint friendship bongs
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
