What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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