as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
