It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize