yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
