I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
