Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
