wat bout pragnant strippers??
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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