I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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