I'm jealous of your bromance
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
