remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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