Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
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