i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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